Happy Thanksgiving

I just wanted want to wish everyone a lovely holiday. No matter what your diet and health regime, today we can all indulge a bit and have a fabulous meal. Due to the large amount of eating this is also a day that many people have a walk or hike somewhere. If you haven't been especially active lately and keep telling yourself your going to start some kind of exercise regime soon there's a good chance you can find someone who will join you in a good walk and you can sooner today the start of you exercise program! I highly recommend today because it will be easier than usual to find someone to take a walk with you before or after your meal and this will make you feel quite satisfied with yourself to boot. Also for those gathering with family and a little stressed about the whole experience you may find unusually strong urges or craving to smoke as smoking does release dopamine into the brain which will make you a little at ease for a few minutes. you may find a craving for that feeling of ease. A good walk for 20 to 30 minutes will do the same thing. Give it a try!

I also want to pass along a really great site I found on things to do when the the monkey's banging on you back. Check it out here.

Get Cooking

Hello there, I hope everyone is doing really well and if your checking in from the states have a great holiday this Thursday! The holiday season is upon us and now that were are pretty much moved in with most of our stuff unpacked and I've recovered from a disastrous round of being really sick its now time to buckle down and get cooking! Of course its all starts with recipe planning, then a grocery list, followed by a dry run of a new recipe. (I think I may have finally cooked something everyone can enjoy, but it took three tries.) last night a gigantic shop at the grocery market, and today and tomorrow morning some serious time in the kitchen.

Why am I going over this? Because the next few months will be the similar in planning, not just for the holidays, but so I can loose the weight I put on from my quit. I did shed a few pounds but not nearly enough to make a difference. An active life and a full schedule with others to feed can make anyone absently eat pick up meals, added to this is extra eating and a slightly slower metabolism due to quitting smoking and its easy to see how someone can pack on a few. I realize I need structure in my eating habits so right now I will be meal planning, cooking ahead of time and packing meals if I'm not eating at home. I can be a really healthy eater, I just need some awareness in my food intake right now.

Other than that I have had some urges which really annoy me, but not there everyday and they don't last long. Eventually I'm sure they'll pass completely, or I just won't care about it anymore.

In the meantime Happy Holiday!

Starting a new chapter

I am feeling a million times better! My energy has really lifted. The house is unpacked, my body is on the mend and I'm ready to begin life in our new home! Part of the new is exploring yoga studios which I will do this weekend. I have selected a little studio which I have been eyeing for a couple of years. I think it may really be aligned with my own yoga journey and I'm excited to try it out.

I no longer have nightly urges in the evening. Actually I no longer have urges and cravings at all. I think I have past some sort of tipping point. I'm sure there are triggers and urges to come but I doubt I will continue to experience anything on a daily basis. I also go days now where I forget about smoking altogether. Feels good.... like I ripped a demon off my shoulders.

Peace and love everyone and rock on

Home sick

I have been home not feeling well at all. Actually I have not been this sick in years. I went to the doctor to get checked out and get medication if I needed it. I did and was officially dubbed down for the count. He sent me packing with a script, a note for work and a suggestion to stay in bed. I asked him if this was related at all to the fact I quit smoking. He said it wasn't I was just sick and that it took a couple of years for the affects of smoking to clear out of the body. ( not really sure what that meant and not interested in anything but bed so I didn't ask) I was in no mood to talk ( having lost my voice). Getting sick, really sick, seems to be something a lot of people go through when they first quit smoking. Rebecca Traister wrote about her numerous trails and tribulations in the first six month of her quit. You can look back to my July 15,20o9 blog to find her article written in Salon.com. In the meantime I'm going back to bed, and just want to sip hot herbal tea with honey and sleep. I am feeling better and suspect I'll be well on my way and on the mend in a few more days.

Getting Organized

Still here. Unpacking, working, and going to school. Just trying to keep it together, get my possessions unpacked and in order and keep my deadlines for work and school. I had a few strong urges when we first moved in. I recognized the urges were actually feelings of being overwhelmed by the move and everything to do with the move and life obligations. I told myself it was OK and I could take all the breaks I wanted. I could unpack everything or none of it, and I could spend the next 60 years in boxes if I wanted, it was all OK. I felt much better after that and I haven't had any urges since. These past days I have forgotten about smoking completely. This is a great sign and means smoking will begin to really fade off to a place where forgotten things go. In the meantime my focus is on getting my house unpacked and in some kind of organization.

Peace and love everyone!

One more day

We are blazing through our move and will be completely moved by tomorrow. Its hectic; work, school, move into the new home and keep the schedule semi organized and sane if possible. The movers are coming to move the big items tomorrow and I think we will be sleeping in our new home by the evening, which is exciting. In the meantime I have a lot of stuff to throw out. This packing and moving is about unloading unwanted garbage. My basement is bulging. I took an appraisal yesterday and realized 85% of it needs to be thrown out with most of the the remaining in storage while I figure out if I really need it. I pulled out a couple of chairs and a few other things, but realized the rest is junk I have been holding on to for far too long. It's a good metaphor for my journey. I continue to have craving in the evening usually when I have a full evening of work without any down time. I have to organize my time so that I complete all my work and have time to rest and take in some exercise. With the move, work and school I have not done any physical activity and I really feel it, its awful. I feel fat, out of shape and dumpy. This is a little hump I have to go through and get over to the other side. Everyone goes through this. I know my best success rate to feel better is to make a plan but I really can't act on anything till I've moved, so its best I just keep going one day at a time and wait this out til I've relocated. It's one day away at this point, and I know I will feel 100% better once we are in our new home.

Packing and Moving

We're moving this week and started the actual move yesterday. It's chaos, but it's great! By this time next week we will be completely moved out and into our new home. As for me I'm doing just fine. I have a lot going on and it keeps me really busy which is helpful. I have very few urges here and here in the evening, but they usually pass quickly. Every once in a while I have something that just won't let me go which causes a slide in my attitude. I had that feeling on Friday, but honestly its not often, it's an irritant, but you can ride it out and I've noticed after the urges are gone the next ones are always significantly weaker. If you recall I wrote about why we get these cravings after even after you have quit for a while and why the urges tangibly diminish and become permanently less severe after a little episode.

I've recently started to become mindful of my eating habits as I was getting a bit out of control and a little tubby too. I'm at seven weeks now and around the four to eighth weeks period people usually stop gaining weight so it should be safe to at least begin to be mindful of eating at this point. There are lots of good things going on in my body. I took a yoga class yesterday and I had full breath. My yoga classes are quite vigorous and people often loose breath in class, so this was something for me to take note of. I am running two miles three times a week. I have not been able to break the two mile mark, but I am running with greater strength and stride. I keep forgetting to put the patch on so I am just making sure I have one around just case I have a weak moment. So far so good, now I just have to lose the weight I gained and I'll be a happy little non-smoker!

Feeling Pretty Darn Good

This is going to be really quick one because I have a ton do today and between moving, work and school I'm straight out these days. Yesterday I got home a little later than I usually do on a Wednesday and I had of a lot to do before I could call it a day and relax. By the time I finished it all I felt rather sleepy and before I knew it I was in bed with my mystery novel laid on my tummy and me fast asleep. I woke up this morning and realized I didn't have one urge or craving during the witching hours ( 7 pm to 9 pm). Even though I planned to wear the patch for an additional month I keep forgetting to put it on. I am going to keep it as a standby and have it with me for a weak moment or a really bad day otherwise, perhaps I have just transitioned off everything.

Alright, peace and love then!

Continuing on

For more videos and stories insert Tobacco Free Florida in you tube or go to http://www.tobaccofreeflorida.com/.

Does this bowl of pasta make my butt look big?

Anon., Italian Italians eating pasta, late 19th century. Albumen print

As I heaved myself up and heavily placed my feet down on the scale, with a gasp and a groan it lurched forward. What I saw when I looked down was no surprise, extra large whole wheat pizza pies, bowls of fresh pasta, big sandwiches and large plates of great tasting food, floated past the bathroom scale and out the door. What's left is seven pounds for me to have and handle anyway I like! Initial weight gain is not uncommon "Cigarettes activate your metabolism," says Cynthia Purcell, MS, a nutritionist and smoking cessation therapist in the smoking cessation program at Thomas Jefferson University in Philadelphia. "You burn about 250 calories if you smoke a pack a day. So when you quit and your metabolism slows down, your body has these extra calories it has to deal with, and many people gain weight." On average, most people only gain between 5-10 pounds sometime in the first four to eight weeks after quitting. Some people gain more, some less and one person I knew lost weight, but a seven pound weight gain is the average and weight gain usually stops after eight weeks if not before.

As I'm in the end phase of what will round out that crucial eight week period I feel it's time for me to be a bit more reflective and considerate of what I am putting in my body. I no longer have urges during the day and the ones I have in the evening grow fainter and smaller. Natural holistic food is very important and essential in my life. Our kitchen is organic, local and mostly seasonal. I cook vegetables procured from local farmers, use free range eggs, fish are the local catch from the docks and I do not seek daily meals outside my kitchen. This is a major aspect of my personal lifestyle so I can say with certainly not only will I loose this weight but will continue to eat holistically and feel good about the darn thing! This is not a fade for me, I grew up eating organically and the benefits cannot be underestimated. That said I have planned out a schedule for myself for the next two weeks to get me eating in a less expansive manner. I have continued jogging and I'm up to two miles now which is a real kick in the pants for me. My yoga practice is a different matter entirely. I am evolving beyond my current style into other areas which is an exciting change but limiting right now with everything else going on. I can only focus on so much at once, so for now I'm concentrating on the classes I'm teaching with only a small practice on the side. That will change, but for now its what I can do and I'm with it.

Last, I want to briefly remind people who are on this journey to watch out for drama queens with their crooked little Tiara's wobbling on their tiny little heads. They will tell you about gaining immense amount of weight over long periods of time. The weight never comes off and you will be fat, fat, fat! It goes along with urges that never end, and countless other hysterical statements. Weight gain is a temporary side effects when you quit smoking as your metabolism readjusts to life without nicotine. That's it that's the extent of it.

Happiness and good health to everyone!

Life... A Sweet Treat

Aren't these just the cutest little Halloween treats! I found these on a site called delish which was featured on the front page of MSN this morning. There are some great festive ideas which if you have the time and inclination would be a BLAST to make! Personally if I were going to be baking this or any of the other great ideas I saw I would substitute their recipes for mine from Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World. That is one of my favorite recipe books and its pretty much the only one I have been using for a while now. I make delicious baked goods which are not bad for you to eat, taste wonderful and can be had by anyone who is lactose intolerant. I love to eat, but good food only. Whole, nutritious, home made, local and seasonal is my preference.

Well I'm moving along in my journey as a non smoker. I jogged two miles yesterday which definitely caused a little inner celebration, I'm hoping to make it three miles by December first. I've gained five pounds and as you can see from this little post I am most enamored by eating and food these days. I'm not too worried. This little phase of eating and gaining weight ( for a variety of reasons I'll get into at another post) usually comes in and leaves between 4-8 weeks into someones quit. The usual weight gain is 7 pounds and most people loose the entire weight gain in the first three to six months. I have heard tales and some people speak of gaining enormous amounts of weight, never loosing it and are still gaining weight years after they quit or have been dieting to loose the extra weight years later and still can't. I know, I know....... these are the same people who tell you about constant cravings and triggers that never go away. Queens who need let someone else wear the tiara for a while.

It all good here. I'm moving, I'm breathing and I'm beginning to love life a more than before.

Peace and love baby!

Boxes and Bags and Big Hugs!

It's a holiday weekend here in the states. I have an advanced training which is quite long and complicated that will complete at the of 2010. I attend the training during the day, come home, walk the dogs and then pack boxes. Now that I have started the packing process I'm on a bit of a roll. Last night the pooches and I were out for a walk and I was making a list in my head as to what should be packed and thinking about a solid goal I could reach by the end of the evening when I had an urge sweep over me. I knew it must be sometime in the witching hours as that is the only time I get cravings now. I stepped back to examine my urge and realized that what I really wanted was a few minutes of down time. I told myself I could have all the down time I needed. I could spend the evening doing anything I wanted or nothing at all. I instantly felt better, the urge disappeared and I ended up packing 10 boxes! I'm going to be gentle with myself through this process.

As I wrote about briefly, this past weekend was really horrible with one negative incident after another trying to sucker punch me and knock down my reserve. I managed to collect myself and not fall victim to all the nasty stuff flying in my direction. We had a good sit down talk in our house and made some decisions which we immediately put into action. With some surprise at the speed it presented itself we found the perfect home, in the perfect location. We made an offer, it was excepted and I came home with a stack of boxes and a to do list a mile long because we are permanently moving from this neighborhood, this town and this area! As I said in an earlier post If I were still smoking I might have just holed away and sucked down my feelings. That was then, this is now. Speaking of which, I have forgot to put the NR patch on yesterday. I often rub the patch when it on my arm and that's how I noticed I had forgotten. I didn't experience any cravings or urges so I didn't bother to put one on once I had remembered. I'm not going to risk it though, I'm sticking with the plan and keeping the patch on this month and next. I am paving the way toward a solid transition.

Wishing everyone a strong beautiful day.

Hope

“Many of the great achievements of the world were accomplished by tired and discouraged men who kept on working.” (unknown)

I'm feeling pretty good today, hopeful, happy and excited for life. I'm over the thirty day hump and looking forward to the next month. We are looking at houses over the next few days and I have some big appointments in the coming weeks. It is my hope we find a place quickly which will really set everything in motion. Yesterday I was exhausted. I think the weekend really took it all out of me as it continued to fall apart right till the end. Half way through yesterday I lost all energy, felt dizzy and somewhat achy. I went home, went to bed and basically got up today and feel much better. I will take some extra vitamin C though to be on the safe side. I have fewer and fewer urges and the ones I have grow weaker each day. The stressful weekend brought increased urges which were stronger but nothing I couldn't handle. My chest feels a little gunky in the morning these days but I figure it will for a while as my system is cleaning out. I feel OK, hopeful, stronger, better.

Strange Silver Lining

Up till yesterday I would always take my dogs here for a walk and social time with their canine friends. That will never happen again. Yesterday was an awful, stressful, exhausting, TERRIBLE day and it all started in these woods. There was some kind of child and parent mountain biking event. A little girl sitting in a chair by the path was particularly frightened of dogs and began to cry when a puppy ran up to lick her. Her father was quite upset and his reaction was beyond the pale and horrified me enough to know the environment was not safe and it was time to gather my own dogs, leave the area, and go directly to the police. After this I had a hurtful encounter with a neighbor, something that took me by surprise and shocked me to the core, as I know only a few people in my neighborhood and although I have lived here for five years I haven't built any relationships with anyone. My neighborhood is not a social environment. Its very urban, a bit raw, occasionally violent and not a community setting to say the very least.

I was shattered by mid morning. This is the first non summer Saturday in many years I did not have to work and it was completely ruined before 10 am. I later tried to go for a run but found the track and field I like to run on was having an event. I also missed the yoga class I was hoping to take. This was followed by an Italian dinner in town where I had reservations for five but only three could make it, therefore even with reservations we waited at least an hour as they tried to find us another table.

Yesterday I transitioned to the lowest dose patch as part of my NRT quitting program. I will stay on this does for 60 days then make the final transition to a completely nicotine free life. I didn't have a problem with my last step down, but maybe because it was such a VERY stressful day yesterday and my emotions were sizable as evidenced by the fact I cried all day, I felt physically ill and had urges throughout the entire day, which is unusual. I got through it smokeless and today is a new day. We are hiking in some different woods which has fewer people and is more peaceful and I think we'll really enjoy it. The man and I had a serious discussion and I have a list of houses to look at and some organizing to do. Were moving out of the urban dwelling. We've really outgrown this, it's soooo yesterday. This is something that should have been done a long time ago. Maybe if I were still smoking I would have just sat and sucked it up, but not now, not today.

Just do it!

Yeah that's right I did it.... like a granny with a walker and the wrong shoes on... but I did it. I ran a continuous mile and a quarter! That is the most I have done in ever so long I don't even remember the last time I was able to do that. This is a tremendous boost to my ego. Much needed I might add. I've gained a few pounds and I'm still riding a bit of an emotional roller coaster, albeit right now its more a kiddo ride than the major theme park amusement one I had been holding onto, but still a few sniffles and growls here and there. I'm trying to build some internal positive reinforcement as I complete month one of no smoking. This is because I know month two is a bit easier in some ways but for many a time we struggle with depression. I'm not sure why but its a common theme and therefore a fragile month. I'm prepared to tackle it and move beyond it this time.

Have a great day everyone!

Drifting along

We've drifted into Autumn. The weather is warm, the leaves are falling, the colors are turning vibrant. This is an intoxicating season, its sooo very lovely. I'm feeling much better these days. I'm still sleeping like a Trojan at night but during the day the emotional roller coaster I was riding seems to have slowed considerably. I think the vitamins have really made a difference. Here are a few things I have noticed at this point. My sense of smell has become more acute. I am waking up with far more energy than I have in quite some time. I fatigue much quicker at the end of day and will fall asleep instantly. I have not had a mid day slump in a while therefore I have not wanted (not that I could) a midday nap. I do have a few urges in the evening but there growing faint and don't last very long therefore there getting easier to ignore. I'm taking bigger breaths and breath in general just seems fuller and more at ease. All in all I am feeling pretty good these days. I want to incorporate drinking more water into my schedule. I don't think I'm drinking enough water, so I'm going to make sure I pack a couple of water bottles with me in the morning and remind myself to sip water throughout the day. OK that's it for now..... over and out

Moving forward

This is pretty much where I'm at right now. Walking through the woods slowly but deliberately, trying to see the forest from the trees and just be at peace. This past few days have definitely been much easier to deal with. I've had very few cravings and the ones I experience have come and gone quickly. I went to the health food store over the weekend and got some vitamins and I am following my plan which I described in earlier posts. Autumn is a time where a lot of things start up again, so with my full schedule and my body in flux I am really fatigued by the end of the day. I go to bed quite early these days. I do find my dreaming is vivid and filled but nothing disturbing or disruptive. My weeks are very full and I really feel in order to be successful right now I need to just take things one day at a time and not try to do everything at once. That said I really enjoy physical activity and I would like to make time in my schedule for something more regular. It just makes me feel a whole lot better. That's my plan for October, make regular time for some of the activities I really enjoy like yoga and jogging. That's my next great plan and I'm looking forward to it!

Sunday Morning

Fabulous wedding. It was beautiful, well done, heart felt and just a real joy all the way around. Yesterday morning was quite difficult, but not for reasons related to smoking or not smoking or feelings about quitting. At the wedding I had one small urge in the evening which practically passed before it came, and that was it.

I want to talk a little about urges and nicotine. From a holistic point of view it is my understanding that when we quit smoking nicotine cigarettes the addictive substance and other additives begins to exit our body. chemicals leave the body in many ways such as through perspiration and urine. After a period of time which is actually significantly more than 72 hours the vast majority of the nicotine and chemicals are gone but a very small amount of the substance can take years to completely clean out of the system. This is why an ex smoker of many years will suddenly have a craving out of no where. The system will have finally dislodged something and is sending it on its way. The craving occurs while whatever is in there is leaving the body. During my yoga teacher training my teacher talked about people who did a lot of praynama (breath work) smelling tobacco occasionally when they were doing breath exercises. This would be ten years after they quit smoking. Things were still being expelled ( hich is great!) When this happens there's a small urge which comes and goes.

I've noticed some people get very dramatic about cravings and urges, claiming they never go away and its a battle you live with every minute of every day or something to that fact. That's rather sensational and completely untrue but some people must be the drama queen no matter the situation or how appropriate or even if they only have the tiniest idea of what their talking about.

Happy Sunday, remember to breath and be well......

The Blues

Yesterday I did not have a single craving, not one. Unfortunately I made up for that nagging nasty feeling with a topsy turvy day of emotional ups and downs. So you ask what gets Miss. S so down she's a puddly mess? The answer is, it doesn't take much. A sentimental song, someone who is slightly rude, forgetting things I need to do, my dogs rushing to greet me when I come home, It takes nothing these days to activate the tear factory. The morning seems better but I can easily droop into tears by the afternoon. It's called hormones gone wild, Florida spring break style! I'm just going to have to ride this out. I was looking on some sites where people relate their experiences and quite a few people talked about emotional ups and downs and deep shitty stuff coming to the surface. Why not, everything else comes up, it makes sense the trash feelings will make there way to the surface with the other toxic junk coming out of the system. Tomorrow I am going to the health food store for vitamins, fresh yogurt and kava kava. I think my holistic intervention will ease some of the aches and pains. Today I have a wedding to go to, so in preparation I'm bringing lots of Kleenex as I can only imagine!

Good night and sweet dreams!

Day 19 and by the evening I'm just exhausted. Ironically, I'm less fatigued throughout my day and I wake up with more energy, but by evening I am DONE. Now for the good, the bad and the ugly. The good is my stamina increases every time I go for a jog which is intense positive reinforcement. Also it helps keep the weight down and prevents saggy, flabby big bottom syndrome, so thank you, I'll take it. The bad is feeling a little melancholy throughout the day, every day. Feeling low doesn't make me want to smoke, but its a primary contributor to my exhaustion at the end of the day. Loooots of changes in the body, looooots of hormones in flux right now. I just need to be a little patient and do a bit more yoga to even the system out. Make a little plan to help me through and stick to it, that's what I need to arrange for myself at the moment. The ugly are the return of canker sores This is not uncommon for A, people who have recently quit smoking or B, people under a lot of stress or C, people who have quit smoking who feel stressed out. I'm listening to my body and its telling me to look in the vitamin cabinet for B12 and if there isn't any in there this would be a fabulous time to go buy some. So there you have it, my grand plan for personal health and just getting through right now; keep jogging, increase the yoga and take B12 vitamins.

ps. Only have urges for a few hours in the evening. They come and go, I mean I'd like to kick their sorry ass right out of this house permanently, but eventually they will understand there unwanted and leave of there on accord!

Stress

Completely stressed out day yesterday. By the time I got home I was completely fried eggs. I had a few urges and was feeling sorry for myself as well. The urges were easy to ride over and move beyond as my real longing was to climb in bed and pull the sheets over my head and hide away from the world. I spent some time really thinking about my life, goals and what's particularly meaningful to me at this juncture. I came to some real resolutions and felt a rush of relief before I slipped off to sleep. This morning my throat feels a bit rough and I have a canker sore in my mouth. This is a sure sign I have been really stressed out but I think perhaps my body is in the process of cleaning out as well which can be a bit unpleasant. At this point its about handling the emotional which is equally difficult and takes longer to deal with than the physical. OK then, one more day down

Peace Day

Woke up feeling good today. Last night I dreamed I was surfing with an old friend from college. Gliding along in the water felt like heaven but swimming out in the ocean was rather difficult. I needed to stay on my board, stick with the planned activity. This seems a good metaphor for my life right now. Have a plan and stick to it and things should go a lot easier. The plan is to stay with the nicotine patches for a while. Last time I found I could easily manage without them and stopped wearing them early on. For me the patches are a barrier or a wall of protection in my moments of weakness. I think for me its best I keep wearing one at a low dose for 90 days. I've noticed in reading other peoples blogs that people start to feel a bit better in their efforts about this point. Good days follow bad days which follow mediocre ones and the cycle continues with more good days than bad ones. I think this is a good sign because that means there's breaks in the struggle. Those breaks will become longer and longer with fewer and fewer points of struggle. That's the plan! In the meantime happy Peace Day everyone :)

Keep at It

One of my recently acquired and favorite activities is jogging. I try to do a couple of miles three times a week. I would like to get out there every day but I'm not that organized yet. This activity fills numerous needs. Each day I don't smoke jogging becomes less labored, easier. When I started I could jog one quarter of one lap before needed to walk a while, now I am up to half a mile before I need a breather. This is tremendously encouraging. Other benefits include an endorphin rush, feeling I am cleaning my lungs out quicker and I'm not gaining weight the way I did the last time I quit. Overall I am really encouraged by my new activity and willing to keep at it as I get lots of rewards for my effort.

Hello again

Its been a year and I thought while I'm at it I should check back in. I really don't think anyone reads this, but it's actually quite good for me and helps the process. After my last post a little over a year ago things became quite intense on the family front. I was having a hard time dealing with everything and returned to smoking. I needed to get my head around the psychological piece or more precisely I needed better strategies for dealing with some things that were coming up. By March I got serious about what I needed to deal with and by August I was ready to quit again. In planning a quit date in September ( which is always a good idea) I just quit without notice to myself. I woke up saying to myself, " Today is the day." That was two weeks ago, which feels good to say. I have lots of strategies and I learned a lot stuff in my last quit so I'm counting on those things this time around. I know its important to hold out for three months no matter what's going on and after six months smoking stops becoming a psychological crutch for most people. I really do have a lot to say but I think that's enough for now.