I haven't had any time to write about my journey lately, sorry. I'm plodding along. This past week I had family visiting. I love my family but this was stressful as hell. I came into this week telling myself to breath and immediately rushed into a restorative yoga class. Yesterday I took a full on physical, sweaty lets just work it all out kind of class and ended up crying at the end. I just needed to get it out. I have a few little Summer jobs and one of them is not enjoyable at all. There are some really toxic personalities floating about. A few times I have seriously wanted to stick a cigarette in my mouth and just watch everything go up in smoke. I didn't and here's why. Cigarettes will not help family communications, nor will they make the temporary co-workers attitudes become bearable. What cigarettes will do is make me sick, if not now, eventually. What will happen is right after I smoke I'll feel tired and fatigued and will not have the energy to deal with all the intense interactions I have to deal with, this will in turn make me emotionally venerable and to protect myself I will get sick. I don't need to smoke, I need to make some big decisions in my life, confront my issues. Scary man, scary........ In the meantime, it's a slow ascent up the mountain.
