One more day

We are blazing through our move and will be completely moved by tomorrow. Its hectic; work, school, move into the new home and keep the schedule semi organized and sane if possible. The movers are coming to move the big items tomorrow and I think we will be sleeping in our new home by the evening, which is exciting. In the meantime I have a lot of stuff to throw out. This packing and moving is about unloading unwanted garbage. My basement is bulging. I took an appraisal yesterday and realized 85% of it needs to be thrown out with most of the the remaining in storage while I figure out if I really need it. I pulled out a couple of chairs and a few other things, but realized the rest is junk I have been holding on to for far too long. It's a good metaphor for my journey. I continue to have craving in the evening usually when I have a full evening of work without any down time. I have to organize my time so that I complete all my work and have time to rest and take in some exercise. With the move, work and school I have not done any physical activity and I really feel it, its awful. I feel fat, out of shape and dumpy. This is a little hump I have to go through and get over to the other side. Everyone goes through this. I know my best success rate to feel better is to make a plan but I really can't act on anything till I've moved, so its best I just keep going one day at a time and wait this out til I've relocated. It's one day away at this point, and I know I will feel 100% better once we are in our new home.

Packing and Moving

We're moving this week and started the actual move yesterday. It's chaos, but it's great! By this time next week we will be completely moved out and into our new home. As for me I'm doing just fine. I have a lot going on and it keeps me really busy which is helpful. I have very few urges here and here in the evening, but they usually pass quickly. Every once in a while I have something that just won't let me go which causes a slide in my attitude. I had that feeling on Friday, but honestly its not often, it's an irritant, but you can ride it out and I've noticed after the urges are gone the next ones are always significantly weaker. If you recall I wrote about why we get these cravings after even after you have quit for a while and why the urges tangibly diminish and become permanently less severe after a little episode.

I've recently started to become mindful of my eating habits as I was getting a bit out of control and a little tubby too. I'm at seven weeks now and around the four to eighth weeks period people usually stop gaining weight so it should be safe to at least begin to be mindful of eating at this point. There are lots of good things going on in my body. I took a yoga class yesterday and I had full breath. My yoga classes are quite vigorous and people often loose breath in class, so this was something for me to take note of. I am running two miles three times a week. I have not been able to break the two mile mark, but I am running with greater strength and stride. I keep forgetting to put the patch on so I am just making sure I have one around just case I have a weak moment. So far so good, now I just have to lose the weight I gained and I'll be a happy little non-smoker!

Feeling Pretty Darn Good

This is going to be really quick one because I have a ton do today and between moving, work and school I'm straight out these days. Yesterday I got home a little later than I usually do on a Wednesday and I had of a lot to do before I could call it a day and relax. By the time I finished it all I felt rather sleepy and before I knew it I was in bed with my mystery novel laid on my tummy and me fast asleep. I woke up this morning and realized I didn't have one urge or craving during the witching hours ( 7 pm to 9 pm). Even though I planned to wear the patch for an additional month I keep forgetting to put it on. I am going to keep it as a standby and have it with me for a weak moment or a really bad day otherwise, perhaps I have just transitioned off everything.

Alright, peace and love then!

Continuing on

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Does this bowl of pasta make my butt look big?

Anon., Italian Italians eating pasta, late 19th century. Albumen print

As I heaved myself up and heavily placed my feet down on the scale, with a gasp and a groan it lurched forward. What I saw when I looked down was no surprise, extra large whole wheat pizza pies, bowls of fresh pasta, big sandwiches and large plates of great tasting food, floated past the bathroom scale and out the door. What's left is seven pounds for me to have and handle anyway I like! Initial weight gain is not uncommon "Cigarettes activate your metabolism," says Cynthia Purcell, MS, a nutritionist and smoking cessation therapist in the smoking cessation program at Thomas Jefferson University in Philadelphia. "You burn about 250 calories if you smoke a pack a day. So when you quit and your metabolism slows down, your body has these extra calories it has to deal with, and many people gain weight." On average, most people only gain between 5-10 pounds sometime in the first four to eight weeks after quitting. Some people gain more, some less and one person I knew lost weight, but a seven pound weight gain is the average and weight gain usually stops after eight weeks if not before.

As I'm in the end phase of what will round out that crucial eight week period I feel it's time for me to be a bit more reflective and considerate of what I am putting in my body. I no longer have urges during the day and the ones I have in the evening grow fainter and smaller. Natural holistic food is very important and essential in my life. Our kitchen is organic, local and mostly seasonal. I cook vegetables procured from local farmers, use free range eggs, fish are the local catch from the docks and I do not seek daily meals outside my kitchen. This is a major aspect of my personal lifestyle so I can say with certainly not only will I loose this weight but will continue to eat holistically and feel good about the darn thing! This is not a fade for me, I grew up eating organically and the benefits cannot be underestimated. That said I have planned out a schedule for myself for the next two weeks to get me eating in a less expansive manner. I have continued jogging and I'm up to two miles now which is a real kick in the pants for me. My yoga practice is a different matter entirely. I am evolving beyond my current style into other areas which is an exciting change but limiting right now with everything else going on. I can only focus on so much at once, so for now I'm concentrating on the classes I'm teaching with only a small practice on the side. That will change, but for now its what I can do and I'm with it.

Last, I want to briefly remind people who are on this journey to watch out for drama queens with their crooked little Tiara's wobbling on their tiny little heads. They will tell you about gaining immense amount of weight over long periods of time. The weight never comes off and you will be fat, fat, fat! It goes along with urges that never end, and countless other hysterical statements. Weight gain is a temporary side effects when you quit smoking as your metabolism readjusts to life without nicotine. That's it that's the extent of it.

Happiness and good health to everyone!

Life... A Sweet Treat

Aren't these just the cutest little Halloween treats! I found these on a site called delish which was featured on the front page of MSN this morning. There are some great festive ideas which if you have the time and inclination would be a BLAST to make! Personally if I were going to be baking this or any of the other great ideas I saw I would substitute their recipes for mine from Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World. That is one of my favorite recipe books and its pretty much the only one I have been using for a while now. I make delicious baked goods which are not bad for you to eat, taste wonderful and can be had by anyone who is lactose intolerant. I love to eat, but good food only. Whole, nutritious, home made, local and seasonal is my preference.

Well I'm moving along in my journey as a non smoker. I jogged two miles yesterday which definitely caused a little inner celebration, I'm hoping to make it three miles by December first. I've gained five pounds and as you can see from this little post I am most enamored by eating and food these days. I'm not too worried. This little phase of eating and gaining weight ( for a variety of reasons I'll get into at another post) usually comes in and leaves between 4-8 weeks into someones quit. The usual weight gain is 7 pounds and most people loose the entire weight gain in the first three to six months. I have heard tales and some people speak of gaining enormous amounts of weight, never loosing it and are still gaining weight years after they quit or have been dieting to loose the extra weight years later and still can't. I know, I know....... these are the same people who tell you about constant cravings and triggers that never go away. Queens who need let someone else wear the tiara for a while.

It all good here. I'm moving, I'm breathing and I'm beginning to love life a more than before.

Peace and love baby!

Boxes and Bags and Big Hugs!

It's a holiday weekend here in the states. I have an advanced training which is quite long and complicated that will complete at the of 2010. I attend the training during the day, come home, walk the dogs and then pack boxes. Now that I have started the packing process I'm on a bit of a roll. Last night the pooches and I were out for a walk and I was making a list in my head as to what should be packed and thinking about a solid goal I could reach by the end of the evening when I had an urge sweep over me. I knew it must be sometime in the witching hours as that is the only time I get cravings now. I stepped back to examine my urge and realized that what I really wanted was a few minutes of down time. I told myself I could have all the down time I needed. I could spend the evening doing anything I wanted or nothing at all. I instantly felt better, the urge disappeared and I ended up packing 10 boxes! I'm going to be gentle with myself through this process.

As I wrote about briefly, this past weekend was really horrible with one negative incident after another trying to sucker punch me and knock down my reserve. I managed to collect myself and not fall victim to all the nasty stuff flying in my direction. We had a good sit down talk in our house and made some decisions which we immediately put into action. With some surprise at the speed it presented itself we found the perfect home, in the perfect location. We made an offer, it was excepted and I came home with a stack of boxes and a to do list a mile long because we are permanently moving from this neighborhood, this town and this area! As I said in an earlier post If I were still smoking I might have just holed away and sucked down my feelings. That was then, this is now. Speaking of which, I have forgot to put the NR patch on yesterday. I often rub the patch when it on my arm and that's how I noticed I had forgotten. I didn't experience any cravings or urges so I didn't bother to put one on once I had remembered. I'm not going to risk it though, I'm sticking with the plan and keeping the patch on this month and next. I am paving the way toward a solid transition.

Wishing everyone a strong beautiful day.

Hope

“Many of the great achievements of the world were accomplished by tired and discouraged men who kept on working.” (unknown)

I'm feeling pretty good today, hopeful, happy and excited for life. I'm over the thirty day hump and looking forward to the next month. We are looking at houses over the next few days and I have some big appointments in the coming weeks. It is my hope we find a place quickly which will really set everything in motion. Yesterday I was exhausted. I think the weekend really took it all out of me as it continued to fall apart right till the end. Half way through yesterday I lost all energy, felt dizzy and somewhat achy. I went home, went to bed and basically got up today and feel much better. I will take some extra vitamin C though to be on the safe side. I have fewer and fewer urges and the ones I have grow weaker each day. The stressful weekend brought increased urges which were stronger but nothing I couldn't handle. My chest feels a little gunky in the morning these days but I figure it will for a while as my system is cleaning out. I feel OK, hopeful, stronger, better.

Strange Silver Lining

Up till yesterday I would always take my dogs here for a walk and social time with their canine friends. That will never happen again. Yesterday was an awful, stressful, exhausting, TERRIBLE day and it all started in these woods. There was some kind of child and parent mountain biking event. A little girl sitting in a chair by the path was particularly frightened of dogs and began to cry when a puppy ran up to lick her. Her father was quite upset and his reaction was beyond the pale and horrified me enough to know the environment was not safe and it was time to gather my own dogs, leave the area, and go directly to the police. After this I had a hurtful encounter with a neighbor, something that took me by surprise and shocked me to the core, as I know only a few people in my neighborhood and although I have lived here for five years I haven't built any relationships with anyone. My neighborhood is not a social environment. Its very urban, a bit raw, occasionally violent and not a community setting to say the very least.

I was shattered by mid morning. This is the first non summer Saturday in many years I did not have to work and it was completely ruined before 10 am. I later tried to go for a run but found the track and field I like to run on was having an event. I also missed the yoga class I was hoping to take. This was followed by an Italian dinner in town where I had reservations for five but only three could make it, therefore even with reservations we waited at least an hour as they tried to find us another table.

Yesterday I transitioned to the lowest dose patch as part of my NRT quitting program. I will stay on this does for 60 days then make the final transition to a completely nicotine free life. I didn't have a problem with my last step down, but maybe because it was such a VERY stressful day yesterday and my emotions were sizable as evidenced by the fact I cried all day, I felt physically ill and had urges throughout the entire day, which is unusual. I got through it smokeless and today is a new day. We are hiking in some different woods which has fewer people and is more peaceful and I think we'll really enjoy it. The man and I had a serious discussion and I have a list of houses to look at and some organizing to do. Were moving out of the urban dwelling. We've really outgrown this, it's soooo yesterday. This is something that should have been done a long time ago. Maybe if I were still smoking I would have just sat and sucked it up, but not now, not today.

Just do it!

Yeah that's right I did it.... like a granny with a walker and the wrong shoes on... but I did it. I ran a continuous mile and a quarter! That is the most I have done in ever so long I don't even remember the last time I was able to do that. This is a tremendous boost to my ego. Much needed I might add. I've gained a few pounds and I'm still riding a bit of an emotional roller coaster, albeit right now its more a kiddo ride than the major theme park amusement one I had been holding onto, but still a few sniffles and growls here and there. I'm trying to build some internal positive reinforcement as I complete month one of no smoking. This is because I know month two is a bit easier in some ways but for many a time we struggle with depression. I'm not sure why but its a common theme and therefore a fragile month. I'm prepared to tackle it and move beyond it this time.

Have a great day everyone!

Drifting along

We've drifted into Autumn. The weather is warm, the leaves are falling, the colors are turning vibrant. This is an intoxicating season, its sooo very lovely. I'm feeling much better these days. I'm still sleeping like a Trojan at night but during the day the emotional roller coaster I was riding seems to have slowed considerably. I think the vitamins have really made a difference. Here are a few things I have noticed at this point. My sense of smell has become more acute. I am waking up with far more energy than I have in quite some time. I fatigue much quicker at the end of day and will fall asleep instantly. I have not had a mid day slump in a while therefore I have not wanted (not that I could) a midday nap. I do have a few urges in the evening but there growing faint and don't last very long therefore there getting easier to ignore. I'm taking bigger breaths and breath in general just seems fuller and more at ease. All in all I am feeling pretty good these days. I want to incorporate drinking more water into my schedule. I don't think I'm drinking enough water, so I'm going to make sure I pack a couple of water bottles with me in the morning and remind myself to sip water throughout the day. OK that's it for now..... over and out