Up till yesterday I would always take my dogs here for a walk and social time with their canine friends. That will never happen again. Yesterday was an awful, stressful, exhausting, TERRIBLE day and it all started in these woods. There was some kind of child and parent mountain biking event. A little girl sitting in a chair by the path was particularly frightened of dogs and began to cry when a puppy ran up to lick her. Her father was quite upset and his reaction was beyond the pale and horrified me enough to know the environment was not safe and it was time to gather my own dogs, leave the area, and go directly to the police. After this I had a hurtful encounter with a neighbor, something that took me by surprise and shocked me to the core, as I know only a few people in my neighborhood and although I have lived here for five years I haven't built any relationships with anyone. My neighborhood is not a social environment. Its very urban, a bit raw, occasionally violent and not a community setting to say the very least. I was shattered by mid morning. This is the first non summer Saturday in many years I did not have to work and it was completely ruined before 10 am. I later tried to go for a run but found the track and field I like to run on was having an event. I also missed the yoga class I was hoping to take. This was followed by an Italian dinner in town where I had reservations for five but only three could make it, therefore even with reservations we waited at least an hour as they tried to find us another table.
Yesterday I transitioned to the lowest dose patch as part of my NRT quitting program. I will stay on this does for 60 days then make the final transition to a completely nicotine free life. I didn't have a problem with my last step down, but maybe because it was such a VERY stressful day yesterday and my emotions were sizable as evidenced by the fact I cried all day, I felt physically ill and had urges throughout the entire day, which is unusual. I got through it smokeless and today is a new day. We are hiking in some different woods which has fewer people and is more peaceful and I think we'll really enjoy it. The man and I had a serious discussion and I have a list of houses to look at and some organizing to do. Were moving out of the urban dwelling. We've really outgrown this, it's soooo yesterday. This is something that should have been done a long time ago. Maybe if I were still smoking I would have just sat and sucked it up, but not now, not today.
